When Rik Smits was born, he was 4 feet 7 inches and was very greasy.  as he got older, he kept growing and growing until he finally fit into the Jerry-Pants his grandmother gave him for his first birthday.  His grandma was a 7 foot Dutch beast.  Every night after a long day of working on the fryer at McDonalds, Rik and his grandma would work on his gumpiness.  No, they weren't trying to make him more finesse, they were trying to make him the biggest gump ever.  They would work on the footwork(tripping) and the jumping(3 inch vertical) ability especially.  His granny even taught him the shnoz block.  This was where Rik would block somebody with his huge nose.  His grandma died in a tragic accident in 1982.  No, it wasn't a car wreck, she fell while walking down the street.  Rik grew to hate the country that raised him because the same country took his granny from him.  In 1984, Rik decided to move to the United States to play basketball in the National Basketball Association.  He was drafted second overall in the NBA draft by the Indiana Pacers.  There he met another misfit by the name of Reggie Miller.  Reggie was dying of cancer and Rik's granny had just died in a tragic tripping accident, so naturally, they could relate to eachother.  After a couple of years in the NBA, he got his first major injury.  It would also be his last.  One day while lighting some candles, he put the flame too close to his face.  All the grease on his face burst into flames and concentrated on his gigantic gumpy nose.  This was the las time that the "Dunking Dutchman" would ever play basketball.  If it hadn't been for the great nose fire of 1994, Rik would probably have become the best Basketball player ever.  Legend has it that Rik was rehired by McDonalds in Holland and is still serving french fries to this day.